


only then

by onhos



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bittersweet, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Like, M/M, Minor Violence, Mutual Pining, Mystery, Pining, a fucking lot of pining, not gonna put a lot of tags so the fic has more impact hehehe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 06:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23346892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onhos/pseuds/onhos
Summary: Jinki tries to tell Minho he loves him.
Relationships: Choi Minho/Lee Jinki | Onew
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	only then

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!! 
> 
> I love this fic a lot it’s my favourite I’ve written so far <3 I was super excited to write onho, I adore their dynamic... warm and funny best friends is my fav :( and it’s my favourite ship so writing this was amazing
> 
> I also liked the style I did. writing the flashbacks and slowly unravelling the plot was So So fun, so I rly hope you enjoy this fic <3 let me know what you think!!

_ present day _

"Hyung?"

Minho looks up when he realises the living room has been quiet for too long. Jinki is sprawled over the desk with his eyes closed, his head resting on top of his notebooks. His mouth hangs open, and he snuffles a little. At the quiet sound Minho smiles to himself.

"Hyung," Minho says, louder this time. He stands from where he'd been sitting on the carpet carving a piece of wood, "Hyung, wake up."

Jinki doesn't wake, even when Minho hovers over him. He looks so innocent, and Minho's heart clenches. He wants to lean down and kiss Jinki's forehead. He wants to let him sleep.

"Hey," Minho rests his hand gently on Jinki's shoulder, "Your neck is going to hurt if you sleep here."

Jinki doesn't stir. He had always told Minho he was notoriously difficult to wake, and Minho had recently experienced this first hand. Minho can't stop smiling. He really, really likes this guy. The way Jinki murmurs in his sleep is impossibly charming.

"Idiot." Minho grumbles, "Am I going to have to carry you?"

Minho sighs. He hauls Jinki onto his back, holding him tightly and wrapping Jinki's arms around his neck. Jinki's head tucks into Minho's shoulder, and soft breaths tickle Minho's neck. Minho grumbles to himself as he climbs Jinki's stairs up to the bedroom. Jinki's weight is heavy on his back, but even still, his heart won't stop racing.

Jinki's bedroom is cozy, like the man himself. He places Jinki gently on the bed, resting his head on the pillow carefully. Minho pulls the blankets over him, and tucks him in.

There, standing over the sleeping man, Minho's throat closes up. Jinki breathes lightly, his lips slightly parted, his covers pulled up to his chin. Minho needs to remember this. He needs to savour these few seconds, staring at Jinki, because he doesn't know when he'll find a perfect moment like this again.

Because it really is a perfect moment. There is nothing more flawless than this, Jinki's chest rises and falls in the dark room. His breathing is the only sound. 

Minho reaches out a shaking hand. Jinki's hair covers his face, so he goes to brush it away, his fingers gently pushing the long strands out of Jinki's eyes.

Jinki shifts, and his eyelashes flutter. 

"Minho?" He murmurs, without opening his eyes. Minho pulls his hand away quickly, as if he's been burned, and coughs awkwardly.

"Go back to sleep," Minho says.

"There's work to do-"

"You need to rest."

Jinki smiles and opens his eyes. He has an infectious way of smiling - it pulls up his cheeks, and makes crescents of his eyes, and Minho's chest glows.

"You tucked me in." Jinki says, with laughter in his throaty voice.

"Shut up." Minho grumbles, "You were heavy, you know." 

"Hm." Jinki closes his eyes, his smile blissful, and Minho wants to kiss him. He wants to crawl into the bed with him. He wants- "You love me anyway.” 

"Right." Minho grumbles, and flushes.

"Is it really okay for me to sleep?"

Minho takes his hand from under the covers, and holds it. Jinki's fingers tighten around his own.

"'Course." Minho says, "You've been working too hard, hyung. You can get back to work when you've rested."

Jinki rubs his thumb over the back of Minho's hand.

"Minho?"

"Yes?" Minho breathes.

Jinki seems to be on the edge of sleep again, already. But he still opens his mouth to speak, his voice almost a whisper.

"Thank you. I love you."

Minho blinks. And blinks again. Something shatters in his chest. He feels warm and terrified, cut open with a surgical hand.

"What did you say?" Minho whispers. 

He waits, and waits. Jinki doesn't respond. His breathing evens out, and Minho knows he's asleep. But he waits anyway. Until he doesn't want to cry anymore. Until he can stand without wanting to fall to his knees. 

_ I love you.  _ The words haunt him.

*

_ 1 week earlier _

"Hyung!" Minho yells, "That's cheating!"

Jinki laughs, in that loud and bubbly way of his. Minho leans forward in his seat, clicking rapidly at the video game controller, as if attacking the buttons will help him win. Jinki, on the other hand, is the picture of relaxation - he's leaning back against his sofa, his feet in Minho's lap, reaching across Minho every now and again to take a sip of wine.

"I'm going to win." Jinki taunts playfully, wiggling his feet in Minho's lap. 

"Play fair!" Minho whines, his eyes fixed on the screen.

"How many times have I won now?"

Minho's neck is flushed with passion, and Jinki keeps laughing at him to wind him up. Minho doesn't appreciate that, but there's something too lovely about the sound of Jinki's giggles that stops him from getting angry.

"I hate you. You're the worst neighbour ever." Minho grumbles.

"Liar." Jinki sings.

The battle continues, Jinki lazily clicking buttons as Minho bounces his legs anxiously.

"Oh!" Minho gasps, his eyebrows narrowing as he focuses completely on the screen, "Yes! Yes!"

The ending music of the game sounds. Minho throws his hands in the air triumphantly.

"I win!" He yells, "Take that!"

Jinki falls against him, laughing, the sound like music and unfiltered joy. Minho enjoys the pleasant weight against his back, warm and steady. Jinki's chuckles rumble against him.

"Minho," He says, his voice cracking with the force of his giggles. When Minho turns to look at him, he loses his breath - Jinki is flushed pink with happiness and alcohol, his hair falling over his face. "You take these things too seriously."

"I don't."

Jinki reaches up to cup his cheeks.

"You do. You're cute."

Minho's ears go red.

"I am not cute."

Jinki pulls at his ear.

"Sure you're not." Jinki grins.

They lean on each other for a moment, perfectly content. Jinki reaches over Minho to grab his wine again, and through the neck of Jinki's shirt Minho sees how the flush in his cheeks spreads all the way down to his chest. It does nothing to soothe his racing heartbeat. 

Jinki turns to Minho on the sofa, holding his wine glass between his fingers. Minho turns too when he feels Jinki's gaze burning into him.

"Hey," Jinki says gently. He taps his fingers against the glass, and looks down. "I need to tell you something. I meant to tell you for a while, but-"

Minho shifts closer. He presses their knees together and smiles encouragingly.

"You can tell me anything, hyung," He smiles, "You know that."

Jinki drains the rest of the wine in one. He places the glass on the floor, then takes Minho's warm hands in his own. Minho gulps, because his hands are held loosely between Jinki's soft fingers, and they rest on Jinki's lap. It's too much. He wants to tighten the grip. He wants to kiss the back of Jinki's hands, and lightly press his lips against every finger. 

"I-" Jinki breathes, staring down at their hands, "The thing is, Minho, I lo-"

There's a bang at the front door. Jinki jumps in surprise, and Minho's eyebrows narrow as his head turns to the door. The bang comes again, loud, thumping. Then it comes in quick succession, the noise furious and rapid.

There's a low snarling coming from the windows. There's a faint scream in the distance. And, somewhere beyond the house, there's a sickening crunching. Like flesh and bone tearing apart.

"Fuck," Minho breathes, "Is that-?"

Jinki nods slowly.

The banging on the front door continues. There are shadows in front of the window now. Minho and Jinki look at each other.

"They're here." Jinki says.

*

_ present day _

"Coffee?" Jinki asks, in a sleepy voice.

Minho looks up to see Jinki standing in the living room doorway. Jinki's hair is dishevelled from sleep - his face is puffy, his eyes half shut, an imprint from the pillow on his cheek. He runs a hand through his hair, gazing at Minho with tired but sweet eyes, and Minho can't look back at him without Jinki's  _ I love you  _ echoing in his mind. He's wearing a huge sweater that seems oddly familiar, but Minho can't place the memory.

"Please." Minho murmurs, staring down at his hands. 

There are cuts and bruises across Minho's fingers from carving - the piece of wood at his feet is finally becoming sharp enough to be a weapon, at the expense of his fingers. He's never done anything like this before. There are already discarded pieces of wood in the trash from endless failed attempts.

Jinki hovers in the doorway. Minho wonders if he remembers what he said last night, or if he'd even meant to say it at all. When he finally meets Jinki's eyes, Jinki is smiling tenderly at him, and Minho's heart jumps.

"Last night, I-" Jinki starts.

"No sugar." Minho blurts, panicked, and Jinki blinks. His smile fades, his eyes becoming unreadable.

"Right." He says. His expression closes off, and he disappears into his kitchen.

Minho sighs, running a weary hand over his face. A thumping noise starts from the window, but Minho is so used to the sound now that he doesn't even notice - the noise is muffled by the countless objects stacked against the windows and front door anyway.

Minho turns back to the long piece of wood and presses his knife against it again. The motion of carving has become soothing. Before all of  _ this,  _ he'd never carved anything, but now it is becoming second nature.

The way he and Jinki slipped so quickly into this easy way of living terrifies him.

"Here," A warm voice says.

Jinki hands a hot mug to him, and Minho takes it between his hands. Their fingers brush.

"There's only one clean mug," Jinki's lips quirk into a smile, "Should we share?"

Minho nods, so Jinki sits opposite him on the carpet with his legs crossed, their knees almost touching. They pass the mug between them. The coffee is warm and soothing, perfect for a cold morning. Jinki stares curiously at Minho's hands on the knife and the wood. 

"You're getting good at that." Jinki says.

Minho looks up and smiles, pleased by the proud look in Jinki's eyes.

"You think so?"

"Yeah," Jinki grins, "I didn't know you were so good with your hands."

That makes Minho flush and look away. His hands freeze for just a second before he continues carving.

"Hey, Minho," Jinki says in a strange voice, "About last night-"

"We're running out of food." Minho says, quickly. 

He doesn't want to look up and see the expression on Jinki's face, because if he does his resolve might be broken. Jinki shifts backwards, as if a wall has pushed them apart. Minho doesn't want to do this. He  _ wants  _ to talk about the warmth and tension between them, he  _ wants  _ to confess, too. He doesn't want to keep changing the subject.

But the time has passed for love.

"I think we'll be okay for a while yet," Jinki says, in a hard voice, "When should we go?"

Minho shakes his head.

"Not  _ we. _ "

"You better not be saying I should stay here."

"It's pointless both of us going," Minho interrupts, "Especially if they manage to get into the house."

"But-"

"I'll go. I can get supplies on my own. You shouldn't be in danger."

Minho turns to look pointedly at the folders and laptop on Jinki's desk.

"Minho-"

"No arguments."

Jinki breathes unsteadily. He hardly ever gets angry, but Minho can feel the tension in him now, building in a hot, suffocating sort of way. So he reaches out and pats Jinki's knee.

"Sorry, hyung," He says gently, "I don't want to go, either."

Jinki meets his eyes, and they look at one another for a moment, speaking without words. Minho smiles warmly, and Jinki's face softens.

"Okay," Jinki breathes, "Okay."

Then Jinki smiles back, and Minho melts.

"Hey," Jinki says, "Remember how good things were before all of this shit happened?"

Minho does. Of course he does.

*

_ 3 months ago _

Minho glances at the clock.

The chicken is going cold, by now. He started to feel a little ridiculous hovering by the window, checking for the sight of Jinki's car pulling into the driveway, so he's sitting at the table now. It had been set for two.

Minho taps his foot. Jinki is a little clumsy, but he doesn't look like the sort of person to forget about meeting a friend. It's not like he could forget easily, anyway - they're neighbours after all. They'd ran into each other just this morning. 

Minho's frown seems to be permanently setting into his face when the front door opens. 

Jinki bursts into the dining room. He's still in his bright blue scrubs, and he breathes fast. Minho blinks at him.

"Minho, I'm sorry, there were complications in the post mortem so my shift didn't end until late, and then there was the worst fucking traffic you could imagine, I'm really sorry, I don't know why I decided to be a doctor, honestly-"

Minho stands and rests his hands on Jinki's shoulders. His heart melts looking into Jinki's panicked and apologetic face.

"It's okay, hyung," Minho smiles, "I'm glad you're here now. Do you want to change?"

"I forgot my clothes at the hospital-"

"You can just wear something of mine." Minho smiles reassuringly. "Go upstairs and look, I'm sure something will fit you." 

While Jinki is gone, Minho takes a moment to appreciate the memory of Jinki in those scrubs, and then he goes to the kitchen to check on the food. He liked to cook - he'd worked hard to make good chicken for Jinki today. Now, after seeing how Jinki's day had been so stressful, he's even more determined that they have a good night together.

And maybe tonight, they'll finally kiss. 

"Is this okay?" Jinki asks quietly.

Minho looks up and loses his breath. Jinki pulls nervously at the sleeves of Minho's sweater. It hangs past his knees, because Minho is taller than him. He looks so soft and cozy. Minho would love to pull Jinki onto his lap and hold him close. The thought makes him warm all over.

Minho clears his throat and looks away.

"That's fine." He mumbles. "Go sit down in the dining room, make yourself comfortable."

He mostly says it because he wants Jinki to leave the kitchen, so he doesn't have to look at him anymore. It'll be a miracle if Minho doesn't kiss him senseless before they’ve finished the first course. 

He prepares the food and brings it to Jinki, who grins brightly at him, bouncing up and down in his seat in excitement.

"You made chicken!" Jinki says excitedly, and the light in his eyes is childish and endearing. 

"Course," Minho says, rubbing the back of his neck in an embarrassed sort of way, "I know you."

They sit opposite each other at the table. It's a small dining room, and the dining table is even smaller, so their knees touch every once in a while. They drink soju, because neither of them has work tomorrow, and as the night goes on they laugh more, and more, and more.

"How's your soccer team?" Jinki asks later. "As good as ever?"

His sleeves are pulled over his hands. They rest on the table, and Minho wants to hold them badly. They've finished eating and drinking by now, but neither of them wants to end the night yet, so they keep talking at the table and gazing at each other.

"We’re not good enough yet. We need to train more." He says.

"You won last time." Jinki points out.

Minho flushes at the memory of Jinki warm and soft in his arms that day. He hopes Jinki can't see his reddening cheeks.

"We've got a long way to go."

"Not if you keep scoring goals so easily." Jinki points at him accusingly. "Hey, you, Minho. Stop working so hard."

As the night goes on, Jinki's eyes seem to get sleepier and sleepier, his voice warmer and quieter. Minho finally takes his hand, intertwining their fingers underneath the sleeve of Minho's sweater.

"You look tired," Minho murmurs, "You should go."

"I don't want to yet." Jinki whines.

Minho laughs at the pout on Jinki's face.

"That face won't work on me."

"Yes it will." Jinki announces.

"Okay, maybe it will." Minho grins. "But really, you should rest. You've had a long day."

"Alright." Jinki sighs. "You win."

"Let me just put these dishes away, and then I'll show you out."

Minho takes their plates into the kitchen. He's putting them in the sink when warm arms wrap around his stomach. Jinki's head presses against the back of his shoulders.

"Thank you, Minho." Jinki says softly.

Minho puts his hands on top of Jinki's where they rest on his stomach. He doesn't have to ask what Jinki is grateful for.

"You can come here any time," Minho murmurs, "If you need me."

"I know."

"Come on, hyung." Minho pulls away from him. "Time to go home."

They walk to the front door together, close to each other. When they reach it, Jinki leans his back against the door.

"I don't want to go, Minho." He says.

“Hyung.”

"I don't want to." He repeats

Jinki's eyes are dark and alluring. 

“Do you want me to go?” He asks. 

Minho rests his hand above Jinki on the door, trapping him there. Minho's heart is uneasy. It flutters in his chest as he gazes down at Jinki.

“No.” Minho says slowly.

Jinki breathes unevenly. 

"I just remembered," Jinki breathes, "I need to give you back your sweater."

Minho uses his other hand to run his fingers along the neckline of the sweater. His fingers brush the nape of Jinki's neck, and Jinki's breath hitches.

"Keep it," Minho says, "It looks good on you."

Jinki's eyes are wide.

"Minho," He says, unsteadily, and Minho steps even closer to him "Please, can you k-“ 

Headlights pass the window, and a car beeps. The spell is broken. Minho jumps away from him quickly.

"I should go." Jinki glances up at Minho shyly. "It was really good to see you, Minho."

"Hyung-"

Jinki smiles at him, in a secretive, promising sort of way.

"See you."

"Tease," Minho grumbles, when Jinki has slipped out of the door and gone back to his own house. He rests his head against the cold wood of the door for a long time after Jinki has left. 

*

_ present day _

"Bag?" Jinki asks.

Minho points to his shoulders, where a backpack rests.

"Check."

"Stake?"

Minho waves his sharpened piece of wood in the air. He's proud of his work - it's pointed and dangerous. At the base of the stake, he's carved something. C _ M+LJ.  _ Jinki hasn't seen it.

"Check."

"Handsome face?" Jinki grins.

Minho laughs. 

"I haven't got that, I'm afraid."

"Hey!" Jinki cups his cheeks, "Yeah you do."

It's the day of the supermarket trip - Minho is terrified, but he won't let Jinki know that. They stand in the doorway, Jinki's hands warm on Minho's cheeks. The sight of Jinki soothes Minho. He would do anything to keep him alive. Jinki's face tightens his resolve, and makes him determined to come back.

"Stay safe," Jinki says, and his voice is more serious than Minho is used to. "Please, you have to stay safe."

"I will," Minho says, "I promise, hyung. Don't worry about me, okay? Just focus on your research."

"Okay, but remember, decapitating them is the only way to kill them. And don't get bitten, that's important."

Jinki traces Minho's face with his hands, as if he's memorising his features. Minho gazes back at him.

"I want to go back," Minho says, "I want to go back to before all of this happened. There was so much I wanted to do with you, I-"

"Hey," Jinki says, "Don't think like that.”

Jinki blinks away his tears. He stands on his tiptoes and leans close to Minho, his breath fanning over Minho's face.

"Minho," Jinki says, and he's almost pleading, "Please, can you kiss me?"

Minho wants to. He wants to pull Jinki in by his waist and kiss him forever. Then, in that moment, nothing else would matter. There would be no hell outside. There would be nothing banging at the door. His chest aches.

"I can't." Minho whispers, in a broken voice.

Jinki buries his face in Minho's neck.

"Please."

"I can't, hyung." 

" _ Why?" _

How can he explain? Before, they danced around each other because they were just shy. Now, when it's life or death, Minho  _ can't.  _ He just can't. He doesn't know if he'll make it out alive. How could their first kiss, their first confession, be in a horrible situation like this? How could Minho let their tenderness be bittersweet? They could both die soon. Love isn't enough. He can't get his hopes up.

"When all of this is over," Minho says, "Only then."

Jinki shakes his head, buried in the crook of Minho's shoulder.

"You won't even let me say it." Jinki murmurs. Minho's skin is becoming wet; Jinki must be crying.  _ I love you _ , he hears Jinki say, a few nights ago. "You won't let me tell you that I lov-"

"Please," Minho's voice cracks. "Stop."

He pushes Jinki away from him. Jinki stares at him for a moment with red eyes, his face loving and open, before he scrubs away his tears with his hands.

"I'll go now." Minho says. "Goodbye, hyung."

It's only when he's outside that Minho lets out the breath he'd been holding. The fresh air is unfamiliar to him, after being stuck inside for a while - when he breathes it feels strange. 

He takes one last look at Jinki's house. His heart feels like it's breaking.

Minho runs his fingers lightly over the base of his stake.  _ CM+LJ _

"I love you." Minho says to the door.

He spots one of  _ them  _ running towards him, bloodied. One of their arms is hanging loose, swinging by its side as it runs. Minho has to go. He has to. 

Minho presses his hand against Jinki's front door - and then he runs.

*

_ 6 months ago _

Minho runs.

The soccer ball is between his feet, and he runs with it, dodging the players that chase him. The sun shines hot on him, making sweat run down the back of his neck - but Minho can't feel anything but the adrenaline, pulsing through him, pushing him forward against the soccer pitch.

He can feel Jinki watching him from the stands, and he can almost distinguish Jinki's cheering from the rest of the screaming. Minho grins as he runs towards the goal. He can do it. With Jinki watching, he can do it.

It's the last few seconds of the match.

A player runs at him, but he darts away. He's almost there. He's going to do it.

His feet skid across the pitch. Minho pulls back his foot, makes contact with the ball, and  _ shoots. _

It hits the back of the goal.

There's roaring in his ears - Minho isn't sure if it's the crowd, or his blood rushing to his head. He laughs and laughs as his team pile on top of him, trying to spot Jinki through the  bodies piling on him.

Sure enough, Jinki is by the stands. He cheers and cheers, jumping up and down on the spot, as if he'd been the one who scored the goal. His hair is wet with sweat, his eyes shining with excitement - he keep saying something over and over again, and Minho manages to read his lips.  _ He did it,  _ Jinki is yelling.

Minho's heart swells. He wonders later if this was the moment he fell in love.

When his team have finally pulled away, he runs towards the stands. He jumps over the barrier, picks up Jinki, and spins him around and around. There is nothing but giddy joy between them. 

Jinki is giggling when Minho sets him down on the ground. Minho puts his hands on Jinki's shoulders.

"You did it!" Jinki says loudly, "You won!"

Minho grins at him fondly, perhaps for too long, because Jinki's smile goes shy. Jinki averts his gaze, his cheeks delightfully pink. Minho leans down and kisses his cheek.

"Thanks for coming, Jinki-shii."

"Hyung." Jinki blurts. "Just call me hyung."

They gaze at each other, until Minho ducks his head and grins, embarrassed.

"Thanks for coming, hyung." Minho says quietly, and Jinki freezes. Jinki opens his mouth to say something, and closes it again. 

Minho wonders later if this was the moment that Jinki fell in love, too.

"It's no problem," Jinki laughs nervously, "I'm your biggest fan, after all."

*

_ present day  _

An empty supermarket is eerie.

The shelves have been ransacked - most of them are half empty. Packets lie open and food has been discarded carelessly. There's a sour smell in the air. It's milk, Minho realises, spotting a puddle of white on the ground nearby with an empty carton.

All of this is unsettling. But none of it is more uncomfortable than the feeling that someone is watching him. Minho tightens his grip around his stake.

He moves slowly through the aisles, checking behind him at all times. He looks carefully for tinned food rather than fresh food, but of course there's not a lot: it's already been taken. The rotten fruit disturbs him - it reminds him that this whole situation is real. He throws whatever he can find into his backpack. 

Minho smiles when he sees a little rabbit keyring lying on a shelf. He tucks it into his pocket, for Jinki. 

Perhaps the bunny keyring reminds him too much of Jinki, because after that, Minho is distracted. He doesn't hear the low growl from the supermarket, getting louder and louder the more he searches.

Minho doesn't even realise there's a zombie in the supermarket until it grabs him.

Teeth almost sink into his shoulder - he manages to duck away, holding his stake in front of his face. He almost freezes at the sight of it. It's... a creature. It's face has been split apart in chunks, so there is hardly any skin left. There are eyes, and a half a nose, and a bloody mouth, but this thing isn't human. When it looks at Minho, there is only hunger in its eyes. 

It's leg is broken, Minho is sure. The zombie drags itself towards him on one leg. It doesn't seem to feel pain.

The zombie throws itself at him - Minho dodges out of the way, trying to hit it with his stake. He's inexperienced, despite the quality of his weapon. Though the zombie starts to bleed from its chest, it doesn't stop moving.

"Fucker," Minho breathes, holding the stake tightly.

There is something about its bloody teeth, it's hiss, that terrifies Minho. Not out of fear for himself, but the sheer... inhumanity of it. He thinks back to the home he made with Jinki, and wonders how this  _ creature  _ can be so cold, when every moment with the one he loves is so warm.

The zombie lunges, and misses again. Minho swipes for its neck, but only catches its ear, which falls and hits the ground with a gentle  _ thump. _

He steps backwards, his legs trembling but his eyes hard and full of fire.

"Come on then." He yells, and the zombie hisses, all teeth and blood.

The puddle of milk he'd seen upon entering the store is behind him. Minho doesn't realise until he steps back and slips on it. His legs give out from underneath him, and he falls, and the zombie follows.

It's on top of him, and it's surprisingly warm. It aims for his neck, of course, baring its teeth. Minho holds out his arm to stop it, and closes his eyes tight shut.

_ Please,  _ he thinks,  _ I want to go home. _

Home is Jinki, always.

There's a searing pain in Minho’s hand.

Then there's a sickening slice. The sound of a blade cutting through skin. Minho opens his eyes, and the zombie's head has come clean off. 

A man is in front of Minho, smiling at him. He has cat-like eyes and a charming smile, and his face is stained a little with blood. He's holding a long, sharp blade.

"Hey." He drawls.

Another warm hand pulls him to his feet. The small man who'd pulled him up smiles, too, but more reassuringly.

"Are you okay?" A sweet voice asks. Minho turns, and there's an innocent-looking man standing behind him, grimacing at the corpse.

"I... think so?"

"Sorry," The man who'd pulled him up says, his voice warm and rumbling, "We didn't mean to scare you. I'm Jonghyun."

"Taemin." The sweet voice pipes up. "And that's Kibum."

"Key." The man with the blade corrects quickly, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his free hand. "You're welcome."

"Thanks." Minho says, "I'm Minho. Who are you guys?"

"We protect this place," Key says, "People still need food, after all."

”It’s a great job, as you can see." Jonghyun raises his eyebrows at the dead zombie.

"You're okay, right?" Taemin asks. He's looking at Minho carefully, his eyebrows narrowed. Minho thinks Taemin must be less innocent than he looks.

"Yeah." Minho hides his bloodied hand behind his back. It drips slowly onto the floor of the supermarket. "I'm fine. I just want to go home."

Home to Jinki.

*

_ 8 months earlier _

Minho loves to run at night.

It has a different feeling to it - when Minho runs at night, he feels free. It's colder, and darker, sure, but that makes itfresh. He's anonymous underneath the street lamps, he's hidden in shadows. It's glorious.

Tonight, he's grateful for a nighttime run more for a different reason.

On his way back, his forehead sweating and his shorts sticking to his legs, Minho spots his cute neighbour a few yards in front of him. The one with the floppy hair, the wide smile, the shining eyes - the one who is like everything that Minho has ever wanted. Minho’s heart twists a little when he sees him.

Something about Jinki's slumped shoulders makes Minho call out to him.

"Hey!" Minho yells. "Jinki-shii!"

Jinki turns, and even in the dim light Minho can see the tear tracks on his cheeks. Minho jogs to catch up with him.

"Minho," Jinki tries to smile, but it doesn't feel genuine, "You're out for a run?"

Minho wipes the sweat from his face self consciously. Jinki looks so pretty that it makes Minho feel sweaty and dishevelled.

"Mhm." Minho grins, "You're coming back from the hospital, then?"

Jinki's face falls. Wrong question, Minho thinks.

"Yes," Jinki bites his lip, "Look, Minho, I'm sorry, I know we don't know each other that well, but can you stay with me for a while? I don't want to be alone."

"Do you want to come to mine for a drink?" Minho blurts. "It might cheer you up."

They've talked quite a lot, since Jinki moved in. They've hung out a few times, they've laughed together. Minho likes him. He  _ really  _ likes him. The disheartened look on Jinki's face makes Minho sad. He wants to take care of Jinki, though the other man is older than him.

"Just one." Minho says, and smiles, "For me."

Jinki blinks at him, but eventually nods.

They walk together to Minho's house, comfortable in the silence. Minho doesn't talk about the tears shining in Jinki's eyes, but he keeps bumping their shoulders together. The stars shine on them, and Minho is grateful that he runs at night, if it means he can look after his neighbour. He wants to bring him joy. Minho wants his company to be enough to give Jinki happiness. 

Jinki takes off his shoes when they enter. Minho finds himself wishing that their relationship wasn't still so casual and polite, and that Jinki could just walk in and throw himself on the sofa and complain. He wants to lie with him. He wants to kiss his cheeks and make him smile again.

"I know I said a drink," Minho says slowly, scanning Jinki's face, which has gone puffy from crying, "But I think you need tea."

Jinki manages a smile.

"Please."

Minho puts on the kettle and lets it rumble. He keeps glancing at Jinki, who's leaning wearily in the doorway, his eyes focused on the floor. He keeps sniffling, and every time he does Minho's heart cracks. He doesn't know when he started to worry about his cute neighbour so much, but the concern consumes him.

He takes the tea to Jinki, who grabs it from him with shaking hands.

"Minho," Jinki's voice trembles when he speaks, "I can't do it."

"Jinki-shii?" 

"I'm sorry, I don't want to burden you-"

"Tell me." Minho says warmly, "You can tell me anything. We’re friends, right?” 

"You know the project I told you about?" Jinki scrubs at his eyes furiously, trying to wipe away his falling tears, "Today, one of our patients- we had to- we had to euthanise her, she was too dangerous. I don't think I can do it, Minho. I don't think I can fix all of this.”

Minho takes the the mug gently from Jinki's shaking fingers and places it on the counter.

"Everyone is going to die," Jinki sobs, "Everyone is going to die because of me."

Minho pulls Jinki into his arms.

It's Minho's first time holding him. The man is small - his head tucks under Minho's chin. He's warm, and when he reaches up his arms to hug Minho back, his grip is tight. Minho wants to hold him like this forever. He has to resist the urge to kiss the top of Jinki's head.

"It's okay. You’ll fix this.” Minho says softly, "I believe in you."

Jinki slowly stops shaking, though his tears have made Minho's shirt wet. 

"You do?"

"Of course. I'm here for you." Minho speaks awkwardly - he's not used to saying such things. But he means it, and that's what matters. "I know you'd do the same for me."

Jinki pulls away from Minho. Finally,  _ finally,  _ he smiles in that way that Minho loves. 

"I would."

Minho smiles back. It feels like something shifts in the air. The moment grows warm and everything goes delightfully tense between them.

"Do me a favour then."

"Hm?"

"Let's see each other more often." Minho wants to brush the hair from Jinki's face, but holds back. "I have a soccer match soon. Come."

Jinki laughs.

"I'd love to, " He says sweetly, "More than anything."

Minho's hand twitches with the urge to touch him. It's suffocating.

"Cheer for me, okay?"

Jinki's smile reaches his eyes. Crescent moons. Minho feels a burst of pride.

"I can't wait." Jinki pauses, and his eyes flicker away from Minho's. "Thank you. I don't know why you're always so kind to me."

Minho can't hold back anymore. He tenderly brushes the hair away from Jinki's face.

"I care about you, idiot." He says, "Now drink your tea."

*

_ present day _

"Minho?" 

The voice slips through the door, and Minho breathes a sigh of relief at the sound. Jinki's voice has always soothed him. It sounds like honey, like melted chocolate. It's the only sound he wants to hear.

"Minho, honey, is that you?"

"Hyung," Minho breathes, against the door. The pain in his hand is unbearable. A trail of blood is behind him, all the way from the supermarket, and the zombies have started to follow it. "It's me, I'm back."

The door flies open. Jinki pulls him in quickly and slams the door shut behind him, piling up the chairs and furniture against it again.

Then he pulls Minho into his arms tightly. He hugs Minho so hard that Minho feels he might burst, but he melts in Jinki's arms anyway, gathering the strength to hold Jinki just as tightly back. Minho hugs him like it's the last time he'll see him.

(Because maybe it will be. Jinki hasn't seen his hand yet. He doesn't know that Minho's blood is staining Jinki's sweater).

"I was so scared." Jinki murmurs into his chest, "I was so scared you wouldn't come back."

"I did." Minho's eyes sting. It’s strange. He never cries. "I'm back, hyung. I could never leave you."

He wants to stay there forever, safe in Jinki's arms. But he's learned over the past year that every warm moment has to end.

"You're okay?" Jinki pulls apart, searches his eyes, runs his hands along Minho's face as if to check he's real. A sense of dread passes over Minho's spine. Jinki is going to see his hand any moment now. "Thank god-“

Jinki sees his hand. The fear on Jinki's face when he spots the blood dripping down Minho's fingers is unlike anything Minho has ever seen before.

"No," Jinki breathes. "No, that's not- Minho, tell me that's not a bite. Please."

Minho blinks. He doesn't mean to cry. But tears slip down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I tried, I-"

Jinki takes his hand tenderly. He surveys the wound with expert eyes, the kind of scanning that only a medical professional could do.

“Hyung, I’m so sorry.” 

"Come on," Jinki smiles, pushing away the fear in his face, and Minho's melts away too, somehow. "Let's get this cleaned up."

Jinki pulls him to the bathroom by his hand, the one that isn't injured. He grabs his first aid kit from the bedroom on the way. He keeps looking back at Minho, as if to check he's there, as if to reassure himself with Minho's presence. Minho squeezes his hand.

He's never been scared of dying. It was always the fear of leaving Jinki alone which truly haunted him.

Jinki pulls him into the bathroom. He sits Minho on the edge of the bath, and kneels in front of him, taking Minho's injured hand in his own.

"This isn't quite how I imagined kneeling in front of you would be." Jinki smirks.

Despite everything, Minho splutters with laughter. It's not even that funny, but he laughs until his stomach hurts.

"Sit still." Jinki whines. 

Jinki stitches his hand expertly, tugging at the skin lightly. It hurts, but Minho watches Jinki's face, and Jinki glances up at him every now and again with a smile. It's reassuring. His fingers are soft and warm, his face is like a flower... everything about him makes Minho feel at home, and so nothing hurts.

"Why aren't you scared?" Minho asks quietly.

Jinki finishes the stitching. He kisses the back of Minho’s hand before bandaging it carefully.

"Because," Jinki says, his tongue between his teeth as he concentrates, "I'm going to fix this."

"What?"

"I'm going to end this disease. I know I will." Jinki's smile is sure. "All along, you've wanted me to believe I can do it. I believe it now. You'll never turn into one of those monsters, because I'm going to heal you. I'm going to heal everyone, because you made me believe it's possible."

Jinki's voice is so certain that even Minho, who has always been pessimistic and stubborn, believes it. He feels warm with joy and light and hope. This is what Jinki's presence does to him. It makes him happy. With Jinki, he glows. Though he can feel the disease inside of him now, slowly crawling up his arm, he is full of love.

"How can you be so sure?"

"I'm not." Jinki shrugs. "But I won't stop trying until it's certain. You've cared for me, and now I'm going to care for you, too."

"Hyung." Minho whispers, awed. "You're wonderful."

Jinki looks up shyly.

"I wouldn't be here without you."

"That's not true." Minho shakes his head. "You could've done this without me."

"Don't you understand?" Jinki lets go of Minho’s bandaged hand and rests his hands on Minho's thighs. "You gave me the strength to be here. You're everything to me."

_ "Hyung." _

They look at each other in the dim bathroom, and there is no blood. There is no disease, there is no banging on the walls, there is nothing but hope. This is their home. It is just two men who love each other, sitting together. There's nothing else.

Jinki presses his finger against Minho's lips.

"Don't hide from me." He says gently, "Let me say it, please."

Minho stares at him, terrified.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." Jinki smiles. "I really love you. I really, truly do."

A sob catches in Minho's throat.

"Even if everything is cold," Jinki says, "Every second with you is warm."

Jinki takes his finger away from Minho's lips. Minho slides down to the floor, so that they can face each other, and presses their foreheads together.

"We'll make it out of here." Jinki promises.

"I'm scared." Minho says, and pulls Jinki closer to him.

"It's okay. When this is all over," Jinki murmurs, "You can tell me you love me then, if you want to.” 

_ Every second with you is warm. _

Hadn't Minho learned that, too? Even in the terror, Jinki had made him smile. What is he waiting for? Can't he let them love each other now? 

There is a dangerous disease coursing through his body. Jinki is in a race against time to cure him, and the rest of the world, and has been for a year.

But love. Love is enough. Jinki taught him that. 

“You’re wearing my sweater.” Minho murmurs. 

Jinki looks down at himself, and flushes.

“That night,” Minho sighs. He grabs the sweater, pulling Jinki towards him by the collar. “That night I gave you this sweater. I should’ve kissed you then, and never let you go.”

“Minho-“

Minho kisses him, with everything he has. It’s absurd, the two them, kissing on the bathroom floor in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. But Minho finds this moment as warm as every other moment he’s spent with Jinki. Nothing can ruin it. 

They pull away, but Minho kisses Jinki’s forehead, and his nose, just because he can. He kisses the pink flush in Jinki’s cheeks. He wants to kiss all of him, forever. 

“I love you,” Minho smiles, “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

*

_ 1 year ago _

Minho loves warmth.

The sunshine is his favourite. This summer is hot - he lies outside on the grass, his eyes closed, letting the sun warm his face. It’s blissful. He stretches out his legs and  _ breathes. _

Minho looks up curiously when a moving van pulls up in front of the house next to him. It had been sold a few months ago, and he’d been looking forward to meeting his new neighbour. The last neighbour had been a sweet old lady, and he’d enjoyed her company.

“I love it here.” A warm, bubbly voice says. 

The man who jumps down from the moving van is so... well, he’s just so  _ cute.  _ He has floppy hair, and a beaming smile, and his voice is like warm honey. He catches Minho staring at him, and smiles at him, this huge toothy grin. Minho loses his breath. 

The neighbour and the man who had driven the moving van start carrying boxes into the house. Minho jumps to his feet to help. 

His new neighbour, when trying to pull a box from the van, slips. Minho catches him easily, steadying the man by his arm.

“Careful.” Minho says warmly.

The man looks up into his face. Up close, his eyes sparkle. Minho realises he’s still holding his neighbours arm and pulls away quickly.

“I’m Choi Minho.” He introduces, “I live next door.”

“I’m Lee Jinki.” Jinki holds out his hand, “Thanks for saving me, neighbour.” 

When they shake hands, Minho finds he likes the warmth of Jinki’s fingers even more than the sun.

“Do you want some help?” Minho asks.

“Please.” Jinki sighs gratefully. “You look stronger than me.”

“I am.” Minho winks, and Jinki goes pink. It’s impossibly charming. “Give me that. We’re neighbours, now. Let’s look out for each other.” 

He helps Jinki carry boxes into the house. He spots medical books and scientific textbooks in one of them.

“You’re a doctor?” Minho asks, when all of the boxes are stored away and they’re hovering awkwardly in Jinki’s doorway. 

“I am.” Jinki smiles sheepishly. “What do you do?”

“I’m a soccer player.” Minho smiles. “What do you specialise in?”

“Diseases. We’re working on a project right now, actually. That’s why I moved here, to be closer to the headquarters.” 

“Tell me about it.”

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” 

“Try me.”

(Minho would never tell his cute neighbour that the only reason he’s asking is because he wants to talk to him more. He doesn’t actually care about diseases at all). 

“Well...” Jinki’s eyes sparkle. “Recently, there were a few strange cases in Europe. This is going to sound crazy... but the people who are infected by this disease are like zombies.”

“You’re kidding.” Minho deadpans.

“No!” Jinki laughs. “The part of the brain that controls hunger and addiction is affected, meaning the patient craves human flesh and will do anything to acquire it. We don’t know how, but their bodies become stronger, meaning it’s difficult to kill or even harm them. It is most likely to occur in people close to death, or already dead. On a large scale... it could be apocalyptic.” 

Minho blinks.

“No way.” 

“Yes.” Jinki laughs. “You want to hear more about it?” 

“Why don’t you come to mine for a bit?” Minho asks. “You must be tired.”

Jinki’s eyes light up.

“Really?”

“Of course.”

Jinki smiles at him, and the whole world falls away. Minho knows he’s going to fall in love with this man, someday. Jinki starts walking in front of him, rambling about zombies, or something. 

“Zombies,” Minho scoffs, under his breath, “How ridiculous.” 

Well, Minho thinks. His new neighbour is cute, regardless. 

**Author's Note:**

> YES IT WAS A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
> 
> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
> 
> (i'm so sorry for this fic i've been watching too much of the kdrama kingdom lately)
> 
> anyway yes I hope everything made sense!!! doctor jinki who has been looking for the cure for a year!!! football player/badass zombie fighter Minho!!! THEY FELL IN LOVE YO
> 
> also it's not a shinee fic without all the members so hope you enjoyed those badass cameos . especially kibum that was so fun to write 
> 
> ONHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


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